My weeks have been filled with routine lately; wake up, go to the gym, make breakfast, go to work, go home, do homework, go to bed.
On certain weekdays, I add a shift at my part-time job before work at Superfly.
My schedule is what it is.
That’s what I tell myself.
In reality, a routine is my jam. I look forward to day-to-day rituals. Others, I’ve noticed, don’t see a positive power and potential they have, rather they see them as an inconvenience.
Who needs breakfast? That’s what protein bars on the go are for. Who needs a walk in the park after three meetings in a row? Fresh air isn’t my thing. What’s sleep? I have not gotten the bit of that since my last hangover.
The excuses go on and on. So does our inability to gain back control.
Three weeks ago, an iconic and influential woman left this earth to spend the rest of time with my Poppi. As somber as it is, change often makes way for possibilities. I found my change.
It’s about damn time some habits in my life take a hike. Going to bed earlier because no sleep is NOT better than more sleep. Laying back on the wine and picking up water instead. Finding the joy in working out to feel better not because there is something wrong with me.
I love the word ‘yes’. Possibilities come from ‘yes.’
They also come from ‘no’.
What I am not a fan of, is being taken advantage of. I’m in a position currently, where yes if preferred, especially when your work ethic has been praised and people recognize strengths. It’s a pat on the back, but it’s a step up for the other person, and guess what, usually I’m the step.
I’m in this limbo with no plans for this summer. I’ve heard the word ‘no’ more than I’d like to admit lately. This surprises people, especially after coming off of a year and a half of working, but the reality is, I don’t mind it all that much.
Breathing in, breathing out. Letting fresh air into my life where it was polluted before.
This is where that limbo I mentioned comes into play. Maybe it’s time I take a small break. Do I want to? Not really. I would much rather be working. But, there is knowledge to be gained working on myself, away from the distraction of day-to-day schedules.
What if all this time working leads to great achievement but, no fulfillment outside the office? What good could come of that? But, what greatness could come from time spent wandering without much of any plan?
My brain wants structure, but sometimes, the soul plays tricks on the brain, leaning toward uncertainty.