The PA Diaries: Fostering Humility

MAY 2ND, 2017 | Life takes a step ahead of us sometimes and decides to leave no time in our calendars for hobbies. Written on April 10th, this has been sitting in my drafts file for a few weeks. But alas, I rediscovered it, and its original purpose has now been fulfilled. 

APRIL 10TH, 2017 |I have 7 weeks left.

7 weeks until I leave for San Fransico to work on the festival. Until I move back to Tennessee. Until I leave the life I created here. And, 7 weeks until I leave the world of humility and intelligence that grabbed me by my wits, shook me to my core, and awoken sides to myself I had not been humbled to know before.

There are elements of life in New York I expected, changes I knew would come my way, anticipation for what I thought I deserved. Then there is the realization, through insane circumstances to each one of us spending time here, life is not predictable to the point we are comfortable to admit.

Sometimes the amount of change going on in my head is intoxicating, it’s the sip of wine turning into a bottle, a growing urgency for possibilities and realizations growing inside. The idea of opportunity, intoxicating & thrilling is kept a secret. That way, no one else feels the satisfaction of understanding how wildly magical it is. We internalize. We as in, I.

Humility is neither a strength nor a fault, rather a term I’ve come to know. Humbled by experience and graced with a community of thinkers & do-ers, I don’t see my situation any different than other aspiring production kids my age.

At the end of a day, we’re all children running around on-site, putting together a string of musical acts, capturing a sense of ownership in a craft we fell for.

The small act, small or large, reminds us, while we’re collecting our thoughts, no one else knows the satisfaction you are feeling in that very moment. It’s personal. It is yours. So stay humble.

Some moments and revelations that made an impact pronounce themselves more as mantras. But may I add, to explain them in full detail would take away the satisfaction of the revelation.

  1. I fell further in love with love. The kind you don’t find in another person.
  2. I experienced loss of immediate family. It sucked.
  3. The idea of friendship and who embodied what I value in a relationship was established more than anticipated.
  4. Emptying out the filing cabinet and sorting through thoughts leaves room for change and further growth. Sort it out. Find a way.
  5. Furthermore, I need to stop planning so much.
  6. Adult life, or the little I have started to experience, is not a walk in the park.
  7. I’m not done here, there is more work to be done.