And We’re Back.

It has been a while, to say the least.

Moment of honesty: I have had zero desire to write this Summer.

None.

Zip.

Squat.

Between moving from New York to Boston, then Boston to New York, I was beat. Now, I am back in Nashville, officially,  and feeling some solitude.

Thoughts are slowly popping into my head, ‘where will I work?’, ‘what city will I welcome into my life next?’, or in the possibilities of taking time off, ‘what road trip do I want to embark on?’.

Keeping lists on my computer, I’m trying my best to push those thoughts aside for now. If New York taught me anything it was opportunity constantly enters and leaves our lives

I’ll jot my ideas down, I’ll keep note of them on Trello (LIFESAVER tool if you are a list person in need of an online tool), but I’m trying not to glue my attention to what is not worthy of my attention at the moment. 

I say trying because that’s simply what it is, I am trying. Not always succeeding.

Publically, I hardly publish anything. Personally, the pages of my journals have filled as the emotions and processing my new reality.

This post, coffee inspired and thought driven, has no main point other than to share where I am at.

And a side note to my family – Thank you for continually supporting my ever changing ambitions and imaginative pursuits. Your faith and love for my well-being do not go unseen.

xo.

The PA Diaries, Refusing Anxiety & Choosing Fuel

My mornings are fuel for the body. They are a chance to start the day the way you want to end it; on a high note.

When my alarm goes off, it means I have the decision to rejuvenate my body, work out, make breakfast I’ll enjoy, or sleep a bit more. More often than not, I choose to put my body to work. It sets a precedent for the effort I will put into the rest of the day.

But, the mornings I’m traveling for shows, out of town, onsite, or simply, not home, I’ve often said ‘adios’ to the part of my day I considered sacred.

The environment of constant change, particularly in production weeks, usually means the looming of anxiety. What will catering be like? How will I cope with the long days? What will I do to stay clear-headed? How will I cope with stress?

In years past, I gave up on routine under the belief it was not attainable.

After a summer of working shows consistently last year, awareness stepped up and pointed out my weaknesses. What sends me down in spiral mentally, what builds me up physically, and where I can find comfort in balance amidst no set routine were no longer this giant mystery.

The answer was to maintain ‘morning time’.

I choose to wake up 30 minutes earlier to work out. I choose to walk to Trader Joe’s and pick up a few snacks catering won’t have to subside the anxiety of eating food that will make me uncomfortable. I choose to be in touch with my thoughts early in the morning and allow myself time to mentally prepare for a day.

My sacred time, despite stares I might get from others, is what keeps me aware of myself and how I’m doing.

Working in production, traveling, adjusting to new environments, it is all still new to me, I’m finding what works for me.